Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I don't do toilets

Did you know that? I don't do toilets. One stipulation when Dave and I got married is that he cleans the toilet. I will do the rest of the bathroom, but not the toilets. I grew up with three brothers, 3 that didn't always have a sure aim. I don't do toilets. Or their surrounding area. It has almost been ten years (in 20 days!), and it has worked out fine.

I have other quirks, like I don't stick my hand down the garbage disposal because what if it becomes possessed and grinds my hand into a bloody stub? And I pray on my bed. Who knows who/what lurks under it! And it will not get me. Same goes for appendages staying on the bed during sleep, no legs or arms over the side of the bed. Like I said, who knows what appendage attacking crazy lives below.

Back to toilets. I also have to have the lid closed whenever it isn't in use. And before you flush. At my house, what goes for your house is fine, the lid is down. Why? Well, things won't accidentally fall in, of course. And then there is the swirly germies that swim in there and might be kicked up during a flush no matter how clean David cleans. Did you know that they have found germs from the toilet water on toothbrushes that are across the room? It is from flushing with the lid up. Really. You can read about it here, here, here (and read it, it is kind of funny and Dave just had the same reaction as the other men in it), and here. Do you need more proof?

Why am I acting crazy about this? CW's little friend was just here and used the lavatory, not putting the lid down. Not her fault, no big deal, but Joey found the open toilet quite a novelty and used it to play in. Not his fault, big deal because remember, I hate the innards and outtards of toilets. So after a lengthy sponge bath (remember the cast?), yuck, and Dave cleaning the toilet (which was recently cleaned, but hey, it is a toilet) again and its surrounding areas, I'm officially grossed out.

I took a picture of our toilet, but couldn 't use it because the flash highlighted the shadowed baseboard and I truly couldn't show that, who knew it was so dirty? I'm going to show David.

And since it wouldn't be fair to post without a picture of a child, here is Caroline. Who tells us that if she keeps wearing her swimming suit summer will pop right in and the snow on the ground will melt. Let's hope. Eli was the photog. It kind of looks like a crazy mugshot, right? What a natural.


Paige said...

I want that bird plate on your wall. Oh and Caroline's swimsuit is too die for. And sick...I don't want to do toilets either. I'm going to make that my deal too. That is reason enough to get married.

Tiffany And Co. said...

Toilets are truly disgusting! But there's nothing worse than public makes me appreciate my home potty :)

Raydar Love said...

holy smokes. and you are lucky to have a willing husband!! granted - much/MOST of the bathroom pollution is his & his son's....

Through the Looking Glass said...

We are meant to be: I have made Brandon clean the showers since day one of our marriage and I only pray on the bed for the exact same reason - things wil get down there! The toilet, not so much, but Brandon shoots a double stream so I can't keep up with that nightmare.

katie t said...

i am ok with toilets as long as i have my rubber gloves on but the disposal? no no no sticking my hand down into that thing! NEVER!

if wearing a swimming suit will bring summer that much sooner then we're all putting them on, right?!?