I have a friend threatening bodily harm if I don't blog. But here is the problem, I think of a million things to blog about a day but for some reason can't translate it or don't want to. Part of me feels a bit self-indulgent. Part of me is looking, unsuccessfully, for the brain power that has been misplaced. I have a million half finished projects. Rooms that are half clean. Time with children that is half spent.
Caroline said to Eli today, when he came home and set up a playdate, "But E, you hardly ever spend time with us!" and just so she could spend more time with him she asked if she could also go to the friend's house where he was going and she would even do her best to be nice to her friend (E's friend's little sister who Caroline is having a difficult time getting along with lately). So both of them are over there, with the mom laughing that each girl is going to "try" to be nice to each other. It will not be a long playdate because Joey is cuddled up next to me on the couch sad because C and E are gone and he needs them. See half spent. I am multitasking. I should be cleaning. I should actually be reading to him. Or playing with him. Instead I am sitting with him while he asks to watch Umi Zumi and lean on me and the baby in my tummy, as he says. He is decompressing and so am I.
Things are a changin'. Caroline and I went to her Kindergarten Orientation this week. I cried while the current kindergarten sang to us. She's been ready for years. But now she is really leaving me. It won't be much different from her preschool schedule but she is one year closer to full day school and more time away from home than in it. I've wasted it. Just like I wasted it with E. Just like I am sitting on the couch, half cuddling with Joe, wasting my time I have with him. I know, too hard on myself. This is life. Caroline is 97.3% the greatest person to spend time with. She is silly and creative. And she still wears only skirts and dresses. I need to start sewing.
E had SEPs this week. I love it. Mostly because I get to hear he is doing well. He is nice and kind-hearted and smart. He listens most of the time. He helps those around him and she appreciates him being a leader. He needs to concentrate more on his reading comprehension - it isn't a race to get the test in. Math was a little tougher this trimester but he caught on and is back on track. His teacher really cares about him and his class and he listens to her and respects her. I always worried about sending E to school when we did. He is a young kid for his grade and a little bit on the not so tall side. He is a sensitive kid. Sometimes too emotional, which challenges my emotions. But she has seen a big growth in his maturity this year.
And Joey is almost three. It will soon be his "Irpday". He is loud and adamant about what he wants and when he wants it. He is becoming used to timeouts spent in his room for being too loud and adamant. "Joe, stop yelling at me" is something he is hearing lately. If I stick out my bottom lip at him he immediately softens and hugs or kindly headbutts me in the pregnant belly. And if I pucker my lips he stops what he is doing and gives me kisses. I have my Pavlovian dog. He also has the best laugh in the Northern Hemisphere.
I will try to be better about posting. It is my journal. Probably the most consistent I have ever had in my life. Plus my kids are pretty remarkable and awesome so I should document it. And it felt good to put a few thoughts on "paper". Thanks for the threat Paige, just the kick in the pants I needed.