Sunday, September 20, 2009

Today at church Eli had already eaten the fruit snacks, the pretzels (or prencils as Caroline calls them), and some goldfish. He was insisting that he was starving. Has anyone else seen a snack bar at church? Should there be one that is supported by tithes? In any case, I told him to go and get a big drink of water. He insisted that he wasn't thirsty, but starving! I told him his only option was a drink of hunger-quenching water. He kept whining. I told him that I was going to march him out and call Dave to come and get him, he would go home and right to his room - this was after much complaining.

"What?! You are going to send me home and to my room and never let me eat again? You want me to DIE?!

No, E, I just want you to stop complaining and whining, realize that I can't do anything but what I am suggesting and sit quietly.

"What?! You really want me to DIE?!!

So now everyone who sits near us in church thinks I want Eli to die or that I said something to Eli to make him think that I was trying to kill him.

My friend asked me later what I had done to make Eli so mad when he stomped out of Sacrament Meeting (she had seen him stomp out). I am only guilty of wanting him to live! I had finally convinced him it was in his best interest to drink up.


Tonight, playing this new fantastic game called Pickleball, (thanks for the new addiction that we can't play immediately Shorts) Eli was great at it but not sharing the court time with any of us adults. I tried to explain to him the rules, going to a certain point, sharing the court - yada yada yada - "What?! You don't want me to play with you ANYMORE?! You don't want ME anymore?!

When we got home, Dave spent some time talking to him about his behavior. He was sent straight to bed but asked if he could write something down first. This is what we found, taped to the sheet next to him in bed:

Did I tell you about the time in Target when I let him open a pack of Pokemon cards before we paid for them? After they were opened he came across some Mario Galaxy Cards. He decided that he wanted those instead. I told him that we had already claimed the opened cards and had to buy them and because of that we would not be getting the Mario cards. While hanging his head in deep sorrow he said, "I make the worst choices, I am such a bad decision maker!"
After we had checked out and were at the car he said, "You all get in first, I don't deserve to get in before any of you. I make such bad choices. I deserve to be last."

Let me defend us. We don't say things like this to him. We try to never generalize with Eli. We do say things like, " You are right, you were too impatient and didn't make a very good choice in this instance." or "Yeah, you are being naughty RIGHT NOW but you aren't naughty all the time. In fact, you are pretty awesome most of the time." Where he gets all this negative talk and crap I do not know.

Someone, please help. I really don't know what do with this sweet boy who has a great disposition all the time, but apparently rarely when I am around.


Lindsey said...

Things get so much more complicated when they get older! You are the best mother ever and I'm sure you'll figure out your sweet boy. I will always remember when Dave blessed him to always be best friends with his mama...sweetest thing ever.

Leslie said...

That note is classic!

Jergs Family said...

Whit! I stumbled on your blog after viewing Liz's tonight. (It's Monica) Anyway, I couldn't help but want to respond to this post about Eli. Welcome to the world of first borns. Perfectionists, negative and extremely hard on themselves. That is exactly how John is! Hang in are doing just the right thing. Keep praising him for the good things - he'll come along fine. Hope all is well! Adorable kids the by they way!