Lindsey and I were talking the other day and she started laughing at the thought of what Joe would think of blogs. We both agreed he would kindly mock them. I've been meaning to call her all day so that we could laugh and inevitably end up crying over the anniversary that is today. What do you do with a day like today? I'm ok. I know what comes next and what I have to do to be there. He's with us every day.
He is in little things my kids do. He is in their simple kindnesses to each other. We say his name, which has become my son's, many times a day and it is like a million little sparkles in the air. Sometimes my kids do things and I think, Joe taught you that in Heaven, he knew it would bug me so he did it to tease me. Or he knew something would make me happy, so he taught them that too. I love that, because then I think of him. He knows I need to lighten up. I want my kids to be like him in a million different ways. I love that E loves snowboarding and seems to be a natural at it. Now, if only someone could teach him, Caroline and Joey how to skateboard... Caroline might be the best at that. Dave and he would have been good friends.
I miss him. He was happy and kind. He was happy and thoughtful. He was happy and fun. The kid was the best. Is the best. He was a great example to all of us of how to treat others. He wasn't perfect but he was good.
We went up to his grave today. I have never thought he was there. I used to pour Dr. Pepper on it, just for him. My kids know about him, but what do they really know? It is such an abstract thing to young kids. But they know that they love him and they know he loves them. Is it morbid to show his headstone? I think it is beautiful.
He had a lot of favorites. He liked music. Did you know that he loved Michael Jackson? Loved him when he was little. He loved chocolate rice crispy treats and made them better than anyone, even Grandma. He loved his family, all of us. He would love playing with his nieces and nephews. He loved his friends and spent time doing who knows what with them. I remember he would skate up on the U campus a lot with them. He would love where they are now. He had many friends but then there are those really close ones that I am grateful for. They are a part of my family, you know who you are. He was always having fun. He had the goofiest grin. He was working on his six pack, slow to lose his baby chub. He loved his accidental sideburns. I think he thought he was related to St. Nick. He loved his cousins. Especially Ben and Bry. He'd be proud of them. He loved skateboarding and snowboarding. He loved "Bo Knows Bo" so much he read it every year for 7 and wrote a report on it each year, lazy bum - I don't think he loved reading. He loved back-to-school clothes shopping. He loved Mexican Pizzas. He loved his Saab. He loved that his eyes changed colors with whatever color he had on. He loved O-town. He always had something cooking, some big plan. Or little plan. Or mischievous idea. He had friends every where we went because he was good to everyone.
I love when people tell me stories about him. I knew a lot of his comings and goings and his adventures but not everything and don't remember everything. Did I ever tell you that he thought his name was spelled G.I. Joe when he was little? Or that he made a collar of cardboard and named himself Spike, telling us this was his new name? Or that he had my mom make him and his friends fleece hats that he designed that were all spiky and shapey for snowboarding? I think there are pieces of him everywhere, for everyone.
Love you Joe.