Hush

I woke up this morning with my left big toe asleep - again. This happened Sunday morning also. Why is this happening? Why only the left big toe?

I also work up wondering how english muffins were made, how they came about. I don't know if anyone is quite sure. Inconclusive here and here. But you can see a recipe here, but it is far too complicated - so I will buy them.

For some reason, I can't get the video on here but this song has been in my head for about 18 hours. I still don't know most of the lyrics and it took every variation of what I thought were the lyrics to find the song.

What is with the toe?

More Justin Hackworth love

You know when you read some one's blog and they have all these pics up of themselves? I guess it is ok, you know, it is their blog but you know, sometimes people make comments amongst themselves. Oh well. I am doing it. Pictures galore. I am so glad I was able to have Justin take these photos. How lucky am I, for my sake and Caroline's, to have pictures taken of 4 generations of women, 3 that
have shaped me?

This picture of Caroline reminds me of angels. Like maybe she is looking at one.

Little Lambs

Caroline, Joey and I ran out to a farm today. The kids loved every minute of it - the ducks, the babies, the turkey gobble gobble (Joey had the best reaction to this, I'm laughing still), lambies. The kids stayed near me, did as I said, and didn't whine too much when I said it was time to hit Target.

It is so nice to be able to grab a jacket, one diaper (just in case), and set out for whatever. No diaper bags, no baby bottles or nursing aprons. Do you know what there was more of at the farm than feathers and fur? Pregnant women. I live it Utah, bellies of babies are abundant.

Dave and I have dreams of baby running through our heads. We know that we are lucky to have three but both of us have this lingering, no nagging, voice whispering "more to come, more to come". I mean, who knows? Who knows if we can get pregnant when we choose? Who knows if it is the right time now or if the voice means three years from now.

I see these bellies with sweet feet swimming in them and I long. And then I look at my ducklings, following me in a row without much prompting (obviously an ideal day for obedience). I look down at my bag, light-weight. I get two kids in the car without much ado. I sleep pretty ok through each night. All these things and I look down at my body and wonder if it can take stretching to accommodate those 70+ pounds, the weight on my bones and back. The brain power that gets sucked out of me with each feeding. I have said this before and I will say it again - the haze of the last two years is still lingering but I can see the air that is breathable. Do I really want to go through all that again? One more time? I don't know. I hope that if Dave and I decide to bring another infant to this home, we can do it well. But some days I just want to have the decision clear cut and be content with these 3 or get on with it already.


Or maybe we should just go back and get this snake. Caroline insists it would make a great pet.

Absent

I feel absent. I realize the world does not revolve around the workings of the blogosphere (right?), but I admit I have been censoring myself on here. It used to be a place where I would write what I was thinking, clear my air, post pics of the lovely and talented children, show you my wares. But lately, and maybe because I am finding out who is reading this or maybe because I am worried about who is not, I have totally lost my blogging mojo. Duh and double duh.

Maybe it is the lack of time. I have been working on we chirp, something I hope speaks to the hearts and souls of frackin' cool people everywhere. I have orders galore for my plaques (thank you). I have somehow fooled people into thinking that I can sew, make up patterns and teach teenagers how to sew. The sun is finally shining and my dirt is calling me. And oh yeah, those four brown-eyed lovelies I call my peeps. Their neglect is not an option. Well, optional yes, but I try to avoid it.

I'm not Wonder Woman. I don't use my time well, I'm horribly disorganized, my brain is working at about 47% of normal (which, let's face it, I am normally a very smart and witty gal) (and let's face it, I may never be that gal ever again). Wait a minute, I am acting as though I am a total failure. I am so far from a failure. Fail is not my middle name. But I am a bit of a realist.

I am quite verbal. I rarely hold back and on the days when my filter is completely shut off I try to stay in my house, away from phones and far away from any computers. But I also want to be able to attend to this blog and be proud of it. So I am going to try to do a little rediscovery. A little organization of home and brain. Play some catch up and get some air, re-evaluate. And frankly, at the end of the day, I like to sit on the couch with Dave and watch this show. It makes me laugh, we love it around here. Really. Watch it. It's good for you. And the Earth.

image found here

Giveaway!

Last day for a giveaway over at we chirp! Dove talked me into giving away one of my own welcome plaques. Go here to enter or just to gander. Plus, it makes me feel all warm inside to have people want my wares.

Easter

Easter was a good one this year. I tried to make it less about the baskets and while succeeding at that, we didn't do a great job of making it more about the true meaning. This touched me. I need to do better at focusing on what truly matters.

The pic below is prior to church. Joey wasn't going until after his nap. So we snapped a few after. Caroline is a huge fan of her sponge-curlied hair. She just sits and bounces while looking in the mirror.




We did do a little party for Joey's birthday with my family while at Easter dinner. Joey was way more interested in cupcakes than in his gifts. Loves those cupcakes. The kids were so excited for him and opened his presents while he watched on covered in his sugar-sweetness. Did I mention we love this boy? He is too funny.


************
I forgot to mention some speak of this week:
"Mom, do you what is so serious about Easter?" asks Caroline.
"No, what is so serious?"
"Wolves."
"Wolves?"
"Yes, Easter wolves. They coffee (copy) the Easter Bunny and hide beautiful eggs."
"Mom, is that true?" asked Eli.

On Easter Caroline told my dad that the night before the Easter Bunny jumped on her head when she was sleeping. Later that night, I asked her more about it. She said the Easter Bunny jumped on her head, waking her up so she looked at the bunny who apologized so Caroline went back to bed. Eli said that it couldn't have happened, Caroline stands by her story. Eli then asked, "Mom, is that true?"
"I wouldn't doubt it."

Spontaneous Wonder

I know it wasn't spontaneous, but still. I want this happen on my front lawn, twice a day. I don't know why I get all verklempt when I see things like this. It happened last night when I was watching the final scene of the prom on Footloose. And the last scene of Slumdog millionaire. I got this from my friend Angie's blog. Thanks Ang for this delight. Who wants to come over and start learning the choreography?

Dye

One year older and wiser too

Today is Joey's 2nd birthday. We started out with a fun neighborhood Easter Egg hunt. I asked Dave if he wanted me to go with the big kids or Joey. He told me I better be with Joey because the big kids areas are cut-throat. I don't know if he was thinking I wasn't up to the challenge or that I may be too competitive. In any case, I stuck to the toddler yards. Joey had a great time. Eli and Caroline did also but it is Dave that really gets into the hunt. He spends a lot of time really combing over the yards, making sure that the kids haven't missed anything.

We weren't planning on celebrating too much today for Joey because with Easter tomorrow, we can do a little something at my mom's but his Oma and Opa decided to come over. They gave him a big dump truck that he spends at least 10 minutes with every time we are at target. And I let the kids give him a Mickey Mouse bubble blower. Both things made him yell "YAY!!".

Where do you go for a 2 year old's birthday? A Vietnamese restaurant of course. It was super yummy - La Cai Noodle House. The place is clean, well lit and like I said, yummy. Even my kids at the food.

Now Joey is off to his nap. He's just getting older and older. Shocking. He is always on the go, despite his hobbly leg. Every time he sees Caroline or Eli and it has been longer than 5 minutes he gives them big hugs. He is a champ at saying NO! (or MO! in Joey speak), where is it?, what?, why?, where's Ey-yi?, Where's Carogine? and many more. A bit of a snuggler, he lets me hold him and love him. He loves to dance, wrestle with his brother, play in Caroline's room with her and follow everyone around. He is a little comedian and makes us laugh often. He just has the funny little personality that we love. Now if we could get him sleeping through the night, we'd be perfect.

People are strange

The lovely gal that I do the we chirp blog with has a very important friend. I have been following Justin Hackworth's photography blog for a few years. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that he and said gal are great friends. Since then I have been scheming to have him take my picture. Last year he did a little project called 30 strangers. This year he is doing it again, but with a twist. 30 days of strangers, with a mother daughter connect. So today Caroline, my mom, my grandma and I all headed down to Justin's studio. We are no longer strangers (yay!) but not before he took our photos.

I have discussed with Raydar Love the fact that most of Justin's photos seem to have a more serious look to them (or at least his subjects do). I asked Justin about it and he agreed. He wants to capture expressions that (and I can't remember his exact words) the viewer has to figure out what is behind the look.

So here are a few of his photos of us today. And I'll tell you a little about what I was thinking.

"I hope my eyes aren't bugging out of my head like they so often do in photos."

"I can't believe I am back in Provo and actually enjoying myself. I wonder who lit the Y mountain on fire July 21st 1999 (or was it 2000?)?"

Caroline is thinking, "I wonder when I can eat more strawberries and broccoli? My favorites. And when are we getting ice cream? I love ice cream. Is there such a thing as broccoli ice cream? There should be."

And truly, because I admit to being a bit shallow, I was thinking, "Now everyone who sees this will see my proboscis, plainly, plain as the nose on my face." and "I can't wait to see how these will all turn out." and "When can I do this again?" and "I probably should have worn black." and "Do you think he knows how exciting this all is?"

So Justin, thank you. It was thoroughly enjoyable. You are wonderful. To see more, and to follow it every day, go here.

Taking a Break Today

Maybe this past weekend wore me out, I'm down with a cold that has taken my energy for a couple of days. Of course Joey loves American Idol, so we caught up.

Adam was great last week, totally redeemed himself from creepiness the week before but this week? He is quite entertaining, but a little over the top for me. But last week, he was totally vibin' Chris Isaac.

I did quite enjoy Kris Allen's performance, loved it actually. And funny thing, more than a few people think he looks like my David. Kind of funny, huh?

And what was with Allison's outfit? And Scott's new do? Enough of both of them, I say.

I know, I am extremely deep when I am sick.